Dick Cheney's heart: Proof God exists

I've been holding my tongue mostly because I'm so disgusted with this SOB and can't adequately express my contempt or even hit on all his transgressions of the law and common decency. He's truly the James Brown of douchebaggery. No one works so hard to so flagrantly flaunt the law.

This most recent Blitzer interview broke the camel's back.

CHENEY: You know, when we get into talking about the application of specific techniques to prisoners, then we get into the business of signaling to our adversaries what we might or might not do and they can train for it. It has been publicly acknowledged that we did use water boarding.

We should rethink this policy. Hell, I'd come out and say not only do we water board we've begun shooting guys in the knee caps and hooking their testicles up to a car battery. Start training Achmed. Allah and an eternity with 70 virgins depends on your ability to outlast a Duralast.

Paradise is only 45 Amp-hours away, grit your teeth.

BLITZER: John McCain says it's torture.

CHENEY: Well, John is wrong. He and I have a fundamental disagreement on this point. But what the agency did was they sought formal guidance from the senior leadership of the administration, as well as the Justice Department in terms of what was appropriate and what wasn't. And they got that guidance. And they followed that guidance, as far as I know. I have no reason to believe anybody out at the agency violated any tenet of the obligations and responsibilities we have in terms of statutes or our treaty obligations. I think it was done very professionally.

This kills me on two levels. First, I'm super reassured that the torture was done professionally. Nothing pisses me off quite like sloppy torture.

Second, I thought the elite with their fancy theories and degrees lacked the experience, vision, and common sense to lead. The Administration is rejecting McCain and his 6 years of experience being tortured and taking the advice of a bunch of panty waste lawyers (although in their defense the increasing politicization of the DOJ means there are fewer lawyers and more Regents University hacks). Despite this, the damning reality remains that the architect of the brilliant call-a-prisoner-an-enemy-combatant-so-you-can-do-whatever-the-fuck-you-want strategy is John Yoo ( a law professor, from Berkeley no less).

John Yoo, Championship Level Cock Sucker*

This in an Administration where an advisor talking about Sunni Shiites violence would receive a low, friendly response of:

"John ... Jimbo .. Bob? Whatever your name is let's call a spade a spade. So you're saying crazy Arabs are killing crazy Arabs. Anything else?"

Shades of gray and nuances are feared. They introduce complexity into an otherwise elegantly simple world view where every decision is right if you just get the proper (and distant) historical perspective.


Finally to top it off he backs away from responsibility.

BLITZER: And if necessary, would you authorize it again?

CHENEY: Well, I'm not in the chain of command, but if necessary, I would certainly recommend it again.

January 20th 2001 George I and Barbara handed their baby boy off to Dick's stewardship with explicit instructions to keep him from eating paste, running with sharp objects, and licking outlets. He took advantage of W's childlike innocence and intelligence to become one of the most powerful VPs ever. Few things are more detestable than betraying a child's trust. A new big brother to a troubled inner city youth who brought a a fifth of Jack Daniels, a new sports bike, and a handgun on their first meeting would have been a better mentor.

The English language doesn't have a word that describes my disgust, so I invented one.

Fecethroat

intransitive verb

1. The desire to kill someone by shitting down their throat and inducing suffocation

*John Yoo gives new meaning to the phrase "Beef, its what's for dinner" as the first human being to deepthroat an erect bull.